I guess it's true.

Maybe they have been right all along.

Maybe we really don't forget about someone we used to love. Maybe we just get used to them not being around anymore, maybe we just get to accept the fact that they can no longer stay with us(geez, I'm not talking about dead people hahaha). And, maybe it's true, once we give out a piece of our hearts, we can no longer take it back - even when it's given back to us.

I don't know. I'm not sure. Will this explain why after years and years of having moved on, you still feel something inside you twitch when you think about how things used to be? I wonder, really because the case is not always like that. Some times you might even spend hours looking at someone's picture(okay, really I don't do that) and feel like you've never known that person even if that person used to be the only one you seem to know that well. But there are these random moments when you feel like you miss them so much and you wonder why things did not turn out okay. Or why they did not stay longer. Or why we have to forget about people we love so that one day they're just someone you used to love. I mean, can't we just love them forever? As in the kind of love that gives the person a free will, the one that does not demand. The one that does not try to possess. I'm such an advocate, huh?

I just realize that it's sad how we have to stop loving someone, how we have to force ourselves to stop considering a person as someone special. How a person we used to know becomes someone so unfamiliar. It makes me sad that it seems like things just go that way, that we may not want to do it but sooner or later we will (have to) forget about the people we love if things did not work out.

Maybe this is just some kind of a hangover from watching too many korean rom-com series (currently I'm gaga over Coffee Prince ahaha) or maybe this is just a manifestation of how loyal I really am, oh well, should I put in a "hehe"? Seriously, I'm one of the loyaleeest person you'll ever meet. It just makes me sad having to see someone fade out of my life. But I'm doing just fine adjusting to the laws of nature you know.

I might have forgotten about how I have felt about you, my feelings died and I really am not hoping we'll be friends again. I would be lying if I say I think of you often, because I don't. But I do remember you sometimes and though I have completely moved on, I still feel like I miss you and I hope, deep deep down that you're doing fine. I know we're better off not being friends but I want you to know that our memories make me smile and that uh, you will always be special. :)

Fugacity, or the tendency to escape.

Because I'm not sure if it's me who's been eating thermodynamics for the longest time now or if it's the other way around. Anyways, if it's true I've replaced my basic human needs with thermodynamics instead, I think I'm anorexic. I eat, and then I puke. I don't intend to. Sometimes I think my system is just not hardwired to take in all those fucking real gas properties and freaking Poynting correction factor at the very least. Alright, I have had enough rant sessions about my current "academic" situation so I'm not going to delve into that so much. For now.

I haven't been writing. I'm so surprised that my journal(yes, a notebook similar to the logbook of security guards) has 3 months worth of empty pages. Ever since I was in grade six, the longest interval for my entries would be three weeks. Never was it more than a month. And then, this.

Maybe it was because nothing interesting has really been going on. I mean, I don't hate my life, it's just that, right now, it's mechanical. Or maybe, my laziness has just reached an all time high. It was only recently that I realized how I have been feeling so sleepy everytime I'm caught under an unwanted situation. I'd even doze off for a few moments during some of my exams! My gawd, how I need psychiatric help. I think it is my body's defense mechanism. I feel so guilty for always wanting to escape, or for always wanting to be somewhere else and it scares me that I'm getting used to it. Gaah, this is my life and no matter how screwed up it could get, I know I'm still the one responsible for it. It's a hard battle, really. Ah, please please make my fugacity much lower. {I sound so angsty and nerdy you won't believe I dance to SNSD's songs. Haha,hathis is what I got from chemical engineering}