There are some things that I never get used to. Like the heat here in my tropical country. I mean, I've never been anywhere else really and it's somewhat illogical that in my 23 years of existence, I still get highly irritable with the heat even if this is the only kind of weather I know.
But that's tolerable. Some other things in this category are well, not. I know that no matter how many times we do this take-you-to-the-airport-wait-three-to-four-years-pick-you-up-at-the-airport thing, I will always, always feel the same. Sad, but I will only give myself a chance at feeling that way for a while because I have no choice. I guess it is supposed to be easy. If I have learned to live with it for the past four years, what's another four?
I realized though that learning to live with something is not the same as getting used to it. The pain is still there, everyday. On some days it will be extreme it'd make you mad. On some other days, it's quiet, as if waiting for a perfect timing of striking.
So next week, you will no longer be here. So at night when I open the fridge, there would no longer be a cup of water with your dentures soaked in it. I'd miss seeing you in your favorite bestida, or seeing you in front of the mirror combing your 'relaxed' hair. That two months you spent here were so short that they were not enough to make your presence seem real, for it feels quite weird to see you inside the house because for the past four years, you were but a voice at the other end of the telephone line. This time though, since I've taught you how to use Skype, it will be different.
I hate to admit it but I regret being so selfish that I fail to focus on our time together. I am always too engrossed in my own issues, and I am still immature. Such a shame for a person of my age.
But here we are, and I can only apologize for being so childish. Oh funny, you know that even if I'm already forty, I'd still be an angsty teenager. I'm so sorry for trying so hard to be tough and pretending I'm just not into the cheesy stuff. I guess I just don't want to get used to you being around.
Until after the next three years, you know I would miss you everyday. Don't worry though, I promise to be nicer, especially to him.
